As this is the two hundredth post, I’d like to discuss something serious. While it isn’t the most serious issue, it’s important enough to keep me up and I realized I couldn’t go back to sleep if I didn’t write it out.

If you’re a reader of this blog, then you have in no doubt encountered my pathetic dating schemes and issues. What was once a hobby has mutated into a habit and now it’s automatic for me to approach any girl, and if I don’t, I feel inadequate, that I missed some essential opportunity. While I have little trouble these days, I’m neither a ladykiller yet, nor do I want to be anymore. There’s a lot to the game to master, and though it’s not so difficult, it just requires a lot of practice. But the more experience and momentum a person has, the more unstoppable that person becomes. It’s unbelievable.

Bitterness and cynicism got me into this routine—how much I’ve changed since I last wrote about girls here. Those posts were meant for attention or pity; I’m not sure which, as they documented failure. No need to document success—what’s the point of boasting? I just wish I wasn’t so focused. I don’t do things halfheartedly, so if I commit myself to something, I’m in it one million percent. So that’s how it is now. And I’m obsessed. I obviously care (no matter how much I may say I don’t) and I’m using women to validate myself. It’s not even that I feel lonely, as I’ve been writing more than other and craving the solitude required for that. In blog-related news, it’s pretty sad that I made clubbing its own category. What was I thinking?

Advertisements