Haven’t cried this much in a long, long time. (Probably for a score of reasons, not just the following):

Tonight, at my final dinner with my boss and his family, I noticed a girl at another table and she noticed me… before leaving, I happened to bump into her and asked for her number (in Korean). In decent English she said, “I don’t speak English, okay?”

Texting later, she called and explained that her battery was low and she’d talk to me the next day. Called KaJin and told her I loved her. She said, “Sorry,” and something illegible before hanging up. I then called the girl I met Saturday, an English literature major living in Ilsan, and she said she couldn’t talk after 10:30 because she lived with it was her parents’ rule, then she wanted only to text in Korean.

I didn’t care who saw me crying on my way home… even in the building. Why? I don’t want to be such a gentleman anymore… I don’t want to play by their rules… only my own… I don’t want to play at all, but I can’t stop.

Tonight’s girl called me a few times… ridiculous… her giggling. If I didn’t find it incredibly attractive, I would hang up immediately. I’ll forgiver her, maybe because I’m a certified fool…

What should I do in Thailand? Become a monk?

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