Went hiking today. The walk and the silence and the rain (much later) were just what I needed. A lot of words came into my head, lyrics, and as I was mulling them over, I realized Ronnie James penned them. Sure, he did write some cheesy ones, sometimes, but the ones I remembered where all so positive and uplifting—just like how I feel these days.

But also heavy, oh so heavy. Like I can’t afford to fuck up (at all). Things will be tight, they’re going to be tough, but it’s not necessarily difficult, just complicated.

Had a monologue aloud, which put everything into perspective. Still angry, enraged, feeling betrayed, but I must only focus on what I can do—not what’s beyond. I don’t want to become cynical or change who I am because people have hurt me; they win if I do that. I must rely on my strength and my vigilance—they are all I have.

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